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August 25th, 2016

11:37 am - Birthday
My 56th birthday was yesterday.  I kind of spent the day in "birthday envy". While I had a nice but low key pretty darn ordinary day, my twin sister was out rocking it at the Burning Man Festival. Wah...I don't wanna be the one who is "acting her age"!

B gave me a new brooch and a card. The brooch is a circle pin with pink and purple rhinestines. I like it and am wearing it at work today. The card had a picture of a cat playing an accordion, saying 'Accordion to the calendar, it's your birthday!" Open it up and a chip plays a snippet of accordion music followed by a Meow. Cute.

I'd taken the day off work, and so slept in late,

Then I did some crafting, starting a new bonsai bottle tree. At least it felt good to be doing something creative That was really the high point of my day.

I dressed up in my sugar skull print swing dress and B and I went out to dinner at Olive Garden. The minestrone soup was good, the speghetti entree was only so-so, and the (had been looking forward to it) tirimisu for dessert wasn't thawed all the way so the custard texture was a bit icy.

We came home and then watched (rewatched) some episodes of "Breaking Bad".

See, overall a fairly ordinary day, but at least it was a decent day.  I guess my "something special" will be going to A Race for the Ages and walking in circles all next weekend.

Speaking of Ultras, there;s a new timed event in BIrmingham Oct. 21-22;  looks like a nice course through a park. Am thinking of doing the 24 hour division there if I recover well from ARFTA. There's also Joseph Nance's Run Around the World on Sept. 24-25, but I don't know  but its only 3 weeks after ARFTA and that may be too soon.

The naltrexone weight loss seems to have slowed way down and plateaued out the last couple weeks; think I'd have to actually do some restriction dieting and increase exercise to make the scale move. (Just have to decide if I'm going to fall off the HAES bandwagon for a while), Anyway, still happy with the meds reducing out and out binging.

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August 16th, 2016

01:01 pm - haven't written in a while
and life goes on. Nothing terribly exciting, nothing terribly bad, just "Meh" I guess.

I do need to pick up another of my projects and begin to do something creative again. Since finishing the quilt, I've been sleeping way too much on the weekends. (May have something to do with the naltrexone). Being lazy once in a while is ok, if one is enjoying it. I'm not enjoying it, just coming home and going to sleep early and then doing nothing on the weekends and hating myself for it.

Haven't been totally uncreative, I did (do til the end of the month) have a display of my art/craft works up in the library display cases. It was nice to be asked to do this. And I also baked and decorated a "red velvet armadillo cake" for a library showing of Steel Magnolias.

Am satisfied that I have kept up with walking on a regular basis.Progress is still slow, and am still only in the 2-4 mile daily range.

My most recent meds appt. was on Monday. Antidepressants are basically doing their job, even with crawling into a hole on the weekends, I am still mostly ok and coping. The Naltrexone is working too. It has REALLY cut down my binging. Not perfectly, I still had two binges in the six weeks' time, but that was all and I was able to stop sooner than I might have before. I have still been eating too many sweets, but at least the craving to binge on them is lessened, now it's just  indulging in desserts. I've lost 11 pounds (ok, just for data, the number is 201 lbs)  I really liked the first week or so of being on the drug, I could "feel" it working and I wasn't much interested in food; that first blast has lessened, but the effect is still there. It's more like I'm just aware of being actually hungry or not hungry, and can listen to my body. During active binging, its a total disconnect with my body and the eating has nothing to do with hunger or nourishment. The natrexone seems to help me stay in control of my eating.

Another two and half weeks til A Race For the Ages. I'm only slightly in better shape that I was for it last year. But no broken toe this year. Am really looking forward to the event.  Lol..I'm thinking of this as a "vacation"; pretty weird idea of having fun, huh? I keep dreaming about being in running shape, which I am not; all I can do is all I can do- and we'll see what I can accomplish in 56 hours.  Am going to try to sleep less and keep on feet more than I did last year; that's the intention anyway.

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July 26th, 2016

03:18 pm - back to work
First milestone..walked/ran 5 miles today at Indian Creek greenway.

Boring boring boring at work. All Ive done today, besides a little ILL work, is play computer monitor--that is, monitoring the patrons' usage of the computers.

Delivered the quilt to Judy on Monday evening; I don't think I've ever had someone cry over my work before, but that's because of the connection it has to her husband and all her memories of him.

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July 24th, 2016

01:44 pm - Sunday
3 mile walk/run this morning. For something diferent, went over to UAH and walked around the pond there. Felt good, like I could have done more. Maybe I will tomorrow since I'm off work, I'm planning to go to the greenway again early in the morning. It should be a bit less crowded than on the weekends.

I have finished the Aloha quilt project! Took me three and a half months, but it's handquilted and done. it's not perfect. but its as good as i could make it. Will be deivering it to Judy tonight. She's really excited to get it; I hope she likes it.

With that done, what am I going to do next? I think I'll start working on sorting the costumes from the craft clutter in the craft room. B still hasn't got all of his stuff removed, but he has made some real progress--so I should too.

Oh, at work Stehanie and Rhonda, CommunityServices, asked me if I'd want to display some of my arts & crafts in August. Guess they couldn't find anyone else to fill the display cases, but I still thought it was nice to be asked. I should measure the case to see if it's high enough to put my Suzi doll in. Will take some of my costume/ accessories work to fill one case and the bottle trees and ribbonflowers in the other.

B and I have been to therapy together a couple of times now. I think it is helping us. I'm feeling like I understand him a bit better, and feel reassured that he loves me more than his hording. However that doesn't mean he's going to take a bulldozer and scoop everything out just to please me. He's also said he's going to go low-carb for a while, and to be forwarned that may make him a bit cranky.

I haven't binged in over three weeks. The naltrexone is definitely helping. It's also helping some with being satisfied eating smaller portions at meals. I wonder how long I need stay on it for me to relearn my eating habits--and not just go back to them  when I'm no longer taking the meds?

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July 23rd, 2016

11:32 am - babbling about walking
Thursday was a rest day. Friday was an earlyish morning 3.5 miles.  Not sure what Saturday/today's weather will allow, but try to do something in the evening, and then Sun and Mon mornings are free to allow time for extending distance. *edit: Went out at lunchtime for a 2 mile walk. It was actually nice--thanks to the fact that it was sprinkling rain and that took some of the edge off the 101 heat index.

I'm making progress, slowly, and have been reasonably consistent; just have to continue to keep after it.

Think I'm going to adhere to Jason's training advice and try to have no conscecuative days off.

I gave in and registered for A Race For the Ages again this year; it's held over Labor day weekend. LOL, Im crazy, I'm trained for a 5k, but instead will be pushing my limits and seeing how far I can walk in 56 hours. I got in 50 miles last year, walking with a broken toe and bad blisters. So, it should be somewhat easier this time, right? First goal is to make 31 miles and have an ultra. Second goal is to get past that and to 56 miles to match my age, and add on several more miles to reach 100K/62 miles. Anything over that will be pure grit and gravy. Lol, did have two of my running  friends, Janette and Tammie, say they thought I could make a 100 miles; to which I replied- Only if I don't sleep and am unbelievably Lucky.

I almost had decided that I wasn't going to do it, that it was silly to even consider. Then I thought about the Last Annual Vol State Road Race runners out there traversing 314 miles. Its going to take my friend Paul nearly all of the alloted 10 days to do this, but he hasn't quit. (My daughter Hannah, having come across some of the runners actually out there on the road, has gotten hooked on the race FB page and has been asking me all sorts of questions about LAVS)  Anyway, Vol Sate is one of Laz' races inspiring me to do another of his events. Both B and Coleen said to go ahead an do it if I thought it would be "fun"; And I do, in a strange ultra marathon sort of "fun", and for the social aspect..  While Vol State is clearly beyond me, I can do what I can do at ARFTA, since it's a 1 mile loop course run for a fixed time.

Part of a race plan would  to sleep less than last year, may try to short nap (like I did at 3 Days at the Fair). May also plan to nap in the afternoons, bet it's stil hot then. I'm hoping I can walk several miles at a time before resting, and thus have more total time on feet. Last year, blaming it on the broken toe, I only did one or two miles between resting breaks.

Yay-- Terri just posted on FB, Steve Durbin (Terri's husband) finished his Vol State run in 9 days 2 hours. Paul Heckert (and a few others ) are still out there!

So, WHY am I doing the race as an undertrained walker?  1) I did it last year, so why not again? 2)lots of people end up doing some walking, and walkers are not discouraged. 3) I'm  sure I can get past  a 50k/31 mile distance, so I can count it on my Marathon Maniacs stats no matter how long it takes me. 4) it tells me what I can push my body as it is right now(well, in a month's time) to do. Just how  far will relentless forward progess take me? 5) Very good socially and a real feel of community. 6)step to getting back in shape and doing better at events. 7) step toward my goal of having completed 50 or more marathons/Ultras--right now am at 42. 8) to presevere and not be a quitter.

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July 19th, 2016

07:34 pm - memo and notes
Tuesday, 1.9 mile walk in 101 heat index weather. when I got back to work, I was sweating.Embarassingly excessively so. Why is it that you always sweat more for a few minutes AFTER you quit exercising?  I really really need to get up an hour and half earlier and have time to go out in the morning; cooler and I could do somewhat longer distances; only thing is I feel creaky in the mornings and it seems to take me the first mile or so to stretch out and begin to enjoy moving. Not to mention there is the getting up earlier part...

Feeling pretty confident that I can get the quilt finished in the next week in time to get it to Judy before she leaves town. May take a couple of late caffinated nights, but I think I can do it. Noticed one annoying (how am I going to fix it) glitch, the backing on one side of the quilt is about a quarter inch shy of where it needs to be to match edgs with the quilt top. Guess I can sew on a narrow strip and then trim it to the right size before doing the binding; it would only show on the back. Imperfections piss me off though; especially if I'd been a bit more careful measuring in the first place it could have been avoided. It will be good to actually finish the project though; I know Judy has been waiting patiently. It also makes a statement giving it to her before she moves away; she's taking her love for Heinz with her.

Need to remember to get my Dad a birthday card and get it in the mail; his birthday is coming up next week, and I know he prefers "real mail" to email and ecards. heck, I do too, but I've just gotten lazy. I mean, I kept pen and paper journals for years.

Have bought some etsy odds and ends to make a tropical flower hair piece. Lol, of course I couldn't find a readymade one that was "perfect". I want one that will match with my hawaiian dress. Which I haven't even worn yet! Planning to do so for the Library Luncheon on Aug 2. Oh, but the flowers aren't for that. They are for a photo shoot. The Dixie Danger Dolls are going to do a pin up calendar, to fundraise for next year's pageant. I'm helping coordinate the group of gals for "August", the theme being "Tiki Party". Luckily, the photographer who's taking the calendar shots just happens to have a cool Tiki bar at his family's house that we can use as a location. The shoot's going to be sometime in Sept. I also bought some bone carved tiki pendants to give to all the girls of August; planning to use mine as part of the hairpiece.

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July 18th, 2016

12:38 pm - this weekend
On Saturday, did the 3.7 mile loop of Explorer Drive/Research Park. Walk/ran quite a bit of it. Then was a wuss and ony did a mile on Sunday. (feeling extra wussy thinking that the Vol State Road Race was going on--the winner finished the 314 mile trek accross TN in 3 days: 7 hours:9 mintes:42 seconds Isnt that amazing? Hannah said they saw some of the runners on the route and gave them honks and thumbs up.)

Got a lot of quilting done over the weekend; have finished with the interior squares and have started quilting the outside applique border.  I'm going to make an effort, but I don't think I'll be able to get it done before Judy moves out of town (on the 29th); she said not to worry and I can just mail it to her.

Dressed up in my red dress (the one with the catseye glasses print) and went out to dinner with some of the other Dixie Danger Dolls (pin up community) on Saturday evening. Some of the girls were going out later as well to a club, but I begged off saying I was old and that my husband had to get to work. (there were a couple other hubbies in tow in the group) I thought dinner and conversation was quite nice.  Group dinner was much nicer than when B & I went out on Sunday to Cabarras' Italian, which was just meh and overpriced.

I overate going out on Sat. had a Sam & Greg's Garden Pizza (8") and a Spiked Bourbon Cramel milkshake. But this was a conscious decision to splurge. The naltrexone is still doing its job.

2 hot noontime miles on Monday.

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July 14th, 2016

04:37 pm - walking
Wednesday walked 1 mile at lunch after running errands.
Thursday walked 2.25 miles at lunchtime. Almost got caught in a rainstorm, but got lucky and made it back to the library before it started to pour.

I should start stretching distances a couple times a week, and doing more walk/running time.

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July 12th, 2016

05:42 pm - today tuesday
Didn't have to be in to work til 11. Went out and walked a mile first thing in the morning, but couldn't convince myself to do more. However did spend time well between 8-10 and got some more quilting done.

Walked 2 miles at dinnertime.

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July 11th, 2016

10:03 am - weekend
Lol. being a grandmama wears me out; I was asleep on the couch less than an hour after getting home yesterday evening.  :)

Lennon's party was good. The rain stayed away. Lots of people showed up. The adults chatted, The kiddos played, Cake was eaten.  Got a little bit of a sun burn watching the kids play in the pool and sprinklers.

I stayed overnight at their house and got in another day of visiting. Took them out for dinner, Hannah wanted sushi, so that's what we had. Service was slow but the food was good. Lol, was a good family visit, except for the two hours Sunday afternoon when Hannah, Desmond, and friend Big Desmond were out running around playing Pokemon; Ken took a nap with Lennon and I watched a netflix movie all by myself. But I guess that was okay too; I like being at Hannah and Ken's.

I ate cake, I enjoyed cake, But I did not binge on cake. So this weekend also passed the Naltrexone test; no binges. Still felt the social anxiety and awkwardness at the party, but could control my usual response to situations like that. Still ate and probably overate, but not even close to a binge, just a second serving of party sandwiches. Even eating cake didn't trigger any binges; I had one slice during the party and one slice in the evening. Was aware of having to use more resttraint, but the meds definitely helps curb and lessen the cravings.

Didn't get in any walking over the weekend, other than wallking the dog for a short one. Will start a new week today. Finally remembered to bring an extra t-shirt into work with me, at least I can change in  and out of it if I go for a lunchtime walk. Isn't supossed to be quite so hot today, still hot enough in upper 80's. I'm going to have to start getting up in the mornings early enough to exercise, it's the only time that makes sense.

Creative goal for this week is to spend time every evening sewing on the quilt.

2.5 mile walk at lunchtime.

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